Death of Desire

Desire, Civilization, Birth
Rendition of Two Installation Performances of Ratnabali Kant
5th and 6th May 2023

Curated by Smitha Cariappa
Organised by Ratnabali Kant Foundation

This performance is a retake on Ratnabali Kant’s live performance titled Death of Desire. I observed her performance video and let my thoughts flow on how I connect to desire and how I could visualise my own desires. I had to give myself a gap and allow the natural ideas to flow. After two days, I had a vision in a flash and wanted to follow it to see it in complete clarity. The performance concept evolved organically.

When I thought about working on my idea, I experienced a sudden vision. The colour of my desire was vigorous and heavy, gradually taking form until I fixed on a shade of dark pink. Next, I worked on my sculptural installation. I sought the right material to make my sculpture heavy and bold. Acquiring the appropriate material took three days, and building the sculpture took another two days.

As I worked on the sculpture and developed the installation for the performance, various thoughts about desire flowed into my mind. Desires have no boundaries; they can grow wide and tall and are unlimited. The processes of acquiring and consuming, of becoming unbounded and overwhelmed by emotions that gradually turn into greed, started showing their presence. Images from my childlike desires to play with kitchen toys also appeared.

I played with my desires through deep breaths, hinting at my existential self. Desire in humans can have several layers, metaphoric meanings and connotations, with a negative shade sometimes hiding beneath the bright. There are several aspects to the desires of life—to have a good partner, a fulfilling love life, luxuries, a hunger for power, the satisfaction of the ego, and the many socially constructed materialistic desires. There is no limit.

All these wishes and unlimited desires are summed up metaphorically through pink cotton candy. The act of eating and consuming the cotton candy did not want to end; I wanted to enjoy every bit of it. Metaphorically, desire was also represented in the form of a balloon, which was presented to the audience. The audience blew up the balloon with their ‘desires’, and I then offered the cotton candy to the audience to devour. The cotton candy metaphorically represented greed, while the balloon represented desire. I observed that many people avoided eating it.

The journey ended by playing with a balloon loaded with black ink. The climax was to play with death in due course, and then there was an end to this desire.

There are various aspects in my work—the existential self; the heavy, proud body carrying the heavily wrapped pieces of baggage of desires that are visually appealing, bold and attractive. Polyphonic sounds filled the expanse of the action, representing the presence of the self throughout.

At last, I released my childlike emotions, playfully breaking the ego of desire.

Dimple B Shah