Mapping Paradigm Shift

Performance in Paris, at Le Senetle

As I see question of women's position in the society is always in flux, that keeps oscillating between how and what a women should be doing and behave in the society. Mapping Paradigm Shift is about mapping oscillating thought process of mind. Thought process that are in flux, and the dichotomy of role of Body and mind of women.

Every country (society) has drawn a border line for role of women in the Society. Some have given liberty but some have less liberty but the role is always defined within a frame. Be it from social liberty to very existence as an important and integral part of the constant developing society. There is a constant debate on where to draw line of control, what women can do or deserve; each country has its own set of rules, and what is permitted being a women. 

Through this performance I made an attempt to map the shifts like Thoughts, Belief, Theories and Rights. The performance was perceived on both levels personal and as an observer. The oscillation from purity to impurity, mind and body, spiritual and material, right and wrong, the performance was worked out on these trajectories, confronting the realities that I experienced and also what audience can recollect at that moment. This performance complete with the intervention of the audiences.

Dimple B Shah

2015

Reverberating Earth

Durational Performance at DER LÄNGSTE TAG / THE LONGEST DAY, Zürich, Switzerland, 21st June 2015.

I had conceived this performance keeping in mind Switzerland, the land of beauty and Nature. I had seen Switzerland in pictures, movie and photographs and had fascination about this beautiful land. My perception was like it is heaven and I wanted to respond to this in my work. Having said that I didn’t wanted to forget where I came from and cultural aspect of my country, my feet fully rooted in my culture and my mind thinking of Switzerland, resonating earth. Metaphorically match with resonance of earth by an act of making PAPAD (round shaped snack, using the act of making the shape as representing earth in the form of drawing).

The idea was to have a long durational performance from morning till evening but attention can be given to me in the evening between 4 pm to 5pm. The PAPAD making is sign of empowerment and self reliance for women in South Asian counties such as India, Pakistan Bangladesh etc., and it is one of the most successful businesses for women coming from poor economic background. I made metaphoric connection to the act of rolling and making PAPAD to vibrating and frequency of earth and ultimately saluting the great land of peace and harmony and also by performing through my body doing PRADAKSHINA (refers to Circumambulation of sacred place) on ground thereby symbolically connecting my body to frequency of the Earth.

Dimple B Shah

2015

Karmic Connection III

Performance at Leonrod-Haus für Kunst und Gelände Dachauer/Schwere-Reiter-Strasse am Leonrodplatz. 114 München. 6th June 2015.

Establishing connection with my audience through an act of "KARMA" (doing) was the whole idea of this performance. This performance highlights the hidden connections. We as human, constantly perform everyday activity and meet people in everyday life, some relations end being close and some at distance, this is automatically build up through our karmic connection and these connections are built with our act and in this process our relationship with other humans is established knowingly and unknowingly. For me it is a matter of personal importance, like whom I meet and how my relation is established with people whom I meet in my life.

I feel definitely there is previous association which I need to realize now and this performance will be an act to reach each and every human whom I meet. Each and every human holds a great importance and they are strongly connected to me. This performance explored how we connect our self to others (Audiences). This performance was an attempt to build bond through the process of interaction one to one in time and space, although my audience comes from different origin, roots, environments, spaces and experience, during the performance we experienced a moment of time and space together and through object as my tool helped them to look into past, present and future, in that moment we are built our bonds and we all recollected our memories of the past and remember in future. 

The audience could make a choice of kind of connection they have with me, spiritual or material through choice of material offered to them to touch. Performance was enhanced with audio and other material to get the impact and created a meditative environment.

Dimple B Shah
2015

Bring me the Smell of Earth & I will bring you the Taste of Love

Performance at Borella Bus Stop, Colombo, Srilanka, March 16th, 2015, Performed for First International Performance Festival.

“MAN is born free; and everywhere he is in chains. One thinks himself as the master of others, and still remains a greater slave than they." 
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, the Social Contract 1762.

When we go to a new place, usually we try to connect and understand people through their culture, customs, habits and also behavior and we try to mingle with them to become one among them. Constant thinking to become part of that land and be accepted or not, with all the barriers like Racism, Ethnic issues, Religious and political aspect involved. Taking que from this thought, did this performance an interactive one where audience were requested to give me small piece of earth in a sack bag or by applying clay on my body. Symbolically giving a small piece of earth, The act also denoted welcome gesture for me in the country.

The entire performance was an act that involved long ritualistic process, with more space to understand, accommodate, tolerate and respect other cultures and share the whole world without boundaries and rules that are man made. This performance brought out concerns in a larger context; also raised questions on various issues related to collective identity, the construction of urban spaces which are the result of rapid development of larger cities and reducing rural space. The urban cities lead to building our identity in more multicultural platform, where it leads to hybridization and mix of different cultures. Overall when we talk about the identity of an individual in larger context it becomes complex and stays as collective identity from this various sources. 

The identity is formed by adding all this collective memories and become one come complex format of collective identity of individual. The views are also drawn from vantage point of cultural landscape one come from. So, for me this performance will mark an important platform for a cultural dialogue and also understanding and making space for different cultures in International platform. In this performance I have tried to blend various elements of both, cultures and essence of the place I come from and also adapting Sinhala Culture, by incorporating voice modulation of Sinhala language and collaborating with students to their voice in local language them in my work, S o I could make blending of cultures in totality.

Dimple B Shah
2015

Paradde to the "TIMES OF YORE"

Performance, a walk around the College Street, 26 Jan, Kolkata, 2015

Making connection to historical aspects of Kolkata was the key idea in this performance. The city Kolkata is one of the oldest city, ruled by East India Company, the buildings are as old as 150 to 200 hundred years and every stone of the city embedded with history. In this performance I viewed the city through an archaeological perspective and performed as archaeologist who want to collect all the evidences of historical Kolkata and in the process becoming like a socialist who is bringing the essence of city in the present times, who also stands for protest and revolution every time.

This performance was collaborated with common people as audience, who had their part of intervention, when they lend their voice for the performance, shouting "Ey amaar Kolkata, ey tomaar Kolkata" thereby reclaiming their own city.

Dimple B Shah

2015

In search of antidote

Performance at Rama Anjaneya Temple Venue, Hanumanth Nagar, 21st Dec 2014.

“In ”Search of Antidote” was a performance involved ritualistic act through body actions, to heal body and mind of the audience and myself. This performance was conceived keeping in my mind present social situation prevailing around the globe, enormous unrest among people around us. In this performance my main concern was to bring into notice various social issues that is against humanity and which provokes us for an action against widespread injustice. We are a social being and we confront number of social issues on everyday basis from corruption, injustice to crimes against women and communal violence. 

It looks like that we are constantly consuming these pressures/tensions of the society, to fight with emotional and mental level and we keep absorbing so called negativity, like a sponge which accumulates in our system like carbon of the earth. If we don’t burn out these negative energies into positive energy it will totally take us to the depth of its darkness. My performance was an attempt of a ritualistic act bringing cathartic effect on body and mind and cleanse purify body mind and our space and hope for a peaceful future by taking out, ejecting all the negativity through body actions, converting negative emotions/ forces into positivity.

The act was a ritualistic process both for my audience and me. My audience also vent out there emotions which were negative imprints of the society by impregnate the cow dung with negative words/emotions written on them which was given back to artists, artists then ritualistically tried to convert all those negativity into positive energy. The performance was a combined effort of my audience and me venting out negative thoughts and build positive hope for a positive social changes. This performance was incomplete without audience participation.

Dimple B Shah
2014

Small Piece of Earth in my Pocket

Performance at Swamy Vivekananda Metro, Bangalore, June 10th, 2014.

This was my last performance for month of June and for Live Art Lab, 2014. Concept of event was ‘Warp-Woof-Weft' at Vivekananda Metro, Bangalore. The central focus for the event was on the subject of art and craft. The location for the performance was Bangalore Santhe, a place created by Bangalore Metro to promote handicraft and small arts and crafts. We chose to work here keeping in mind the fact that crafty elements is missing in contemporary art scene, and generally artists hire local craftsmen to create their work instead of creating themselves. 

My performance for the event was titled “Small Piece of Earth in my Pocket”; I intended to focus on two aspects, one rapid development of urban space leading to constant demand for more land leading to deforestation and other harmful affects to the nature in large and the other aspect is constant shift of lifestyle that is inclined to fast-food culture and other unhealthy practices that is the root cause of all health issues and indirectly effecting the economy and farmers are dragged into this vicious trap. 

I used jute for costume and prepared the whole costume by myself to give personal touch and also involve my craftsmanship. I made number of pockets on the sack to keep small cups that had Ragi sprouts (Finger Millet) , since Ragi (Finger Millet) is the most indigenous crop, also blend of organic food and using jute was intentional since Jute crop is suggested to help conserve deforestation and jute in performance is also metaphorical playing same role. During the performance I tried to merge myself with plants and trees that were grown around on the pillars of metro, on the lane and then I dragged a Banana Tree which was already damaged, paid tribute to the dead tree with flower and then I walked to each audience and distributed cup of (Finger Millet) Ragi sprout that I had on my costume and later we also planted some in the garden there.

Dimple B Shah
2014

Beauty of Innocence (The Bazaar Walk)

The Bazaar Walk, on the footpath of Bull Temple Road, Basavanagudi, May 23rd, 2014

"We may cherish every moment with each countless blooms of happiness of Nature…enter the cosmos of light enter in deep trance and I think this what bliss might mean and innocence of life mean."

The third intervention was in front of famous Bull Temple footpath, which is also a tourist spot, people around there made a mixed crowd, locals and tourists together. Metaphorically it was to connect the culture and beauty of the space, the flower market, and the vibrant color of Kumkum, the smell of flowers and essence of traditional area. Every time I pass by the Gandhi Bazaar market I sense a new life within me.

This performance was meant to highlight the charm of Gandhi Bazaar, which was an element of inspiration for this performance. The flower is very essential part of our culture and customs of the area. This event was also to metaphorically connect to the pure quality of flowers with the innocence of young children; it is basically to cherish the charm of innocence both in human and plant form. The presence of flowers, the life they symbolize, vibrant colors, and the fragrances bring out the best in life and celebrate beauty in all its glory. At another level it also connects to poets of the place and their poetry, how their poetry spread like fragrance through communities. Although a flower’s life span is short, it enhances our life with happiness. I dressed up with my hair in long plaits which I could adorn with wonderful flowers. I intentionally used elongated plaits to metaphorically show the extension of the celebration of happiness as well as innocence, and usually we exaggerate things when we celebrate. I distributed paper fans which had images of flower sellers and flowers.

My personal making of paper fans involved a ritualistic act of involving myself in an unselfish act of innocence over the period of a week. I could see the effect that the process had on me when I observed the photographs of the performance later. Next day my happiness reflected on my face during the performance. It is a personal journey to go within and search for those emotions and also reconnect to your childhood days. The Bull Temple was my favorite spot during my childhood days when I used to visit with my cousin sister to play in Bugle Rock; it was like revisiting the time again.

Every time I pass by the Gandhibazaar market I sense a new life within me. This performance is basically to highlight the charm of Gandhibazaar, and became an element of inspiration for this performance work. This performance will metaphor-ically connect to innocence quality of flower with young children, it is basically to cherish the beauty of innocence both in human and plant form.

The presence of flowers, The Life, Vibrant Colors, The Fragrances brings the life to its best form and celebrate the beauty in all its forms and at another level it also connects to poets, how their poetry spreads like fragrances of life. Although flower’s life span is short, they enchant our life with happiness. The small wind fan as a messenger…spreads the essence in the air. The red attire is to celebrate the life and warmness. The long hair plaits is extension of happiness and celebration.

Dimple B Shah

2014

Conversation with Darkness

Project 560 (Art Adda) Performance at Old Coal Depot, 2014

In alchemy the matter that was there before all other matter is called the 'Prima Materia'. This was the original substance from which all alchemical transmutation manifested. Coal is the prima materia for the construction of diamonds. Over thousands of years through the alchemy of time, pressure and gravity forms the coal and the prima materia becomes the diamond. Through the prism the white light of the sun shines through. This light is broken up into the spectrum of colors that make up our world. So, through the process of the alchemy of our planet, the coal is compressed into the multifaceted crystal that shines the colors of black through its prism. But now these colors are not coagulated and mixed into the color black - they have been separated and shine with their own radiance. This is a great example of metaphor and how it relates separate items within the same universality. It can be said that the process of time and compression brought forth the diamond. The alchemical earth created this substance from the basest of matter. Within the confines of this matter was the diamond. It was always there - it just needed time and gravity to transmute.

This performance was to understand the journey of coal how it is related to spiritual, philosophical & environmental aspect of life. My attempt was to dwell in darkness of the coal in a metaphoric sense. 

Through this performance audience and I related ourselves to coal and went through the process to understand the journey of coal itself. The performance was essentially to sit on mound of coal and to become one and contemplate in its blackness or darkness something that is living through ages - 400 million years. 

The coal which is also called a fossil fuel because it was formation from the remains of vegetation that grew as long as 400 million years ago. It is often referred to as "buried sunshine", because the plants which formed coal captured energy from the sun through photosynthesis to create the compounds that make up plant tissues. The most important element in the plant material is carbon, through which gives coal most of its energy. In Alchemy the Alchemist often referred to it as a miner. Coal also fits into this symbolic motif. Its meaning has to do with digging deep into the Earth, (Earth symbolizes Nature in its primitive state) to find the Prima Material, of which coal is a symbol. Coal is carbon, life on Earth is carbon-based, and over time coal can be turned into a diamond. The goal of alchemy is to emulate this natural process, but do it much quicker. The coal miner seeks to turn his own body/mind (which metaphorically begins as coal) into the perfected stone that is a diamond.

Dimple B Shah

2014

Forgotten Faces Reliving Past

Basavanagudi Live Art Project performed at footpath next to Ramakrishna Math, 2014

"We need open minds and open hearts when we wrestle with the past and ask questions of it, and the answers it will provide are in nobody's pocket…We should let nobody tell us that they know all that it contains, or try to prescribe or constrain in advance what it has to tell us" - Eamon Duffy, "Faith of our Fathers".

This was my first performance for Basavangudi Project, this performance was about forgotten faces/looking back into important era, a period development of this area from days of its origin. The foundation laid down by great personalities. Remembering their contribution towards development of this area and overall society and looking at the transition over the decades and looking at the present issues connecting past and present.

Since it was first Intervention for this area, I wanted to flip the past to present and introduce my audience with cultural and heritage aspects of one of oldest area of Bangalore. In this performance I dealt with historical aspect of this area, people and issues of senior citizens. Through this performance my attempt was not only to introduce images of famous personalities of the area but also wanted senior citizens to come out and share their bit of past with us who were witness to that era. This was done by myself performing with costume of old time Jubba, Panche and Mysore Peta, my face was covered with black cloth metaphorically representing forgotten personalities and their contributions.

I was also carrying in my hand custom made umbrella with images of famous personalities which  metaphorical represented that we are under their shades and also I circulated one post card with above quotation to audiences and during  the performance I interacted with audience questioning whose image it was and  circulated copies of photos of famous personalities with their names on it, which audiences were suppose to take with them and dig into the history about them. In this process, to my surprise one senior citizen came out with enthusiasm and shared his experience and story of his time and also sang and narrated shloka. This performance was an attempt to reach all kinds of audience, from college students to local people, like auto driver, working women, senior citizens etc.

Dimple B Shah

2014

Awaiting the return of Golden Goddess - Live Performance

At Nimtala Ghat, Kolkata on 26th January, 2014.

Talking to Holy Ganges -The story is not new…I stand on river bank...in front of calm Ganges...which is reflecting the black city and hopeless lights…..the bodies getting heat of fire…the air is smelling death…mourning is everywhere…it is time to mourn for lost souls who were burnt to death….who were dragged, crushed, hit and brutalized they have come long way like these clay pots dragged along the way in small lanes, streets, roads, cities, and country. It time to heal our body and mind which is blacked with pain of lost souls…holy Ganges will you take...burden of these lost souls...We need to heal in mass we need to cover the burnt body we need to cover our wounds we need to heal our minds of not one but in mass, heals our minds and hearts blackened by pain we need the touch of golden Yellow we need touch yellow root…..are we Still Waiting for Golden Goddess..?? 

The last performance of KIPAF event was performed by me in Nimtala Ghats, where the cremations are done near river bank of holy Ganges. The performance was about mass healing where myself and my audience (common people) were healed in a ritualistic act by showering Golden turmeric on me and in exchange I was distributing turmeric root to heal my audience. This work was titled- 'Awaiting for the Golden Goddess', which was comment and concern on issues of rape, especially rape case which happened just two week before the event in Kolkata. This performance was about the use and throw attitude of people with respect to women. In this performance the Turmeric Herb stands for fertility sacredness and also healing elements for rape victims.

My attempt was to provoke general public to ask and make them think, sensitize about the issue and not just think but also act upon it when needed to pledge them in heart to create safe city for women and girls where they can move around safely. The women body needs to be sanitized and cleansed from wounds inflicted and it needs to be healed I walked with yellow dress naturally colored with turmeric water to symbolize the purity fertility, cleansing, Sanitizing and cleansing my body and also I representing the mass women Population, I walked with an audio speaker containing the news of rapes from all over India and cry sounds. The main purpose was to make them feel uncomfortable and provoke them to do something about it and also make an effort to think and act on it when required. I used hundred of small clay pot which is important  in every day culture, object used in  drinking tea and that form a essential element in representing Kolkata and Bengali culture in specifically. 

These Clay pots were tied to each other and were dragged in streets with rope and in process many broken and crushed Metaphorically representing position of women how women body is looked as object of use and throw and how women are carelessly looked up in our society, without much care although they are sensitive, essential and fragile which need to be taken care by us. Clay pots traditional also represented in Indian culture for women womb especially in Gujarat and Kolkata where Goddess Durga/Kali is celebrated as mother during Navrathri and Dasera festivals. 

These pots are lighted with lamps to celebrate the mother hood the power of women. The audience interacted in the ritualistic act of healing and cleansing body by applying the turmeric paste on me and thus participating in community effort to think about the issue.

Dimple B Shah

2014

Time Immemorial -1st Aifriperform International Residency 14th -31 December 2013

The Black Fever - Live Performance in Delhi

This performance was about the darker shade of society. We are constantly bombarded with socio- political and religious issues in India. Every day we are bombarded with news of rape crime and even now when I am writing this the new rape case shown in News and might be even when I am performing some rape might be happening in any corner of our country every minute.  Every day we are left with feeling of helplessness with situation this news keep on circulating in one form or other form and we feel entangled with such unpleasant and insecure life with no hope for any good future.

Visually I wore black mourning dress with face covered with see through black mirrors that reflects audience face; simultaneously I could see audience, though audience could only see their reflection in Black. I have chosen black costume, to mourn, to show dark feeling and wound which has grown like black patch/reflection of society. I had conceived this idea keeping in mind the capital city New Delhi, since the news of Nirbhaiya, there had been no change in social security of women and especially girls and we have been seeing only an alarming amount of crime rates day by day in the villages, town and major cities in India. I really don’t understand why there is such a rise in such crimes may be  because those who  break laws and who does the crime  don’t have any more fear to be caught and punished, may be also due to decrease in moral values and respect to women or should we blame Bollywood items number and vulgar songs for this? We need to question and also seek out for answers about like what kind of mind set of people in the society is? Why women are not secure in India?  Once known for its moral and ethical values. 

The performance was done in highly populated area with migrated population from villages around and African population in Khirkee Village, Delhi and I used multiple audio receivers to interact with people in public space. The attempt was to bombard news to my audience just like News channels to a level of intolerance, to make them react and become sensitive towards issues of security and respect to women and voice their concern, rather than being passive to situations, I wanted my audience to react and become sensitive to issues rather than neglecting it as it has become a common news.

This performance was well received by people, some with very strange reaction they wanted me to pay to hear the audio and some seriously indulging in issue and inquiring whether I am activist or social worker etc., there were some more strange reaction since one audio was to calm them but they thought it was Bollywood music and tried to find out what song it was about.

Dimple B Shah

2013

To cleanse from within

Dimple B Shah gives an expression to catharsis through Paintings, Installations and Sculptures

Dimple Shah with her paintings. Photo: Sangeetha Devi Dundoo, The Hindu.

The first installation that greets visitors at Kalakriti Art Gallery is a shower chamber, which Dimple B Shah calls the ‘Katharsis Chamber’. The curtains of the shower place bear psychological theories of Carl Rogers, the process of Calcination and the glass walls of the chamber are lined with rows of tiny bottles. Nothing is here for ornamentation of by accident, says the artist. The bottles are filled with shreds of hair, nails and ash. An recorded audio completes the picture providing the sound of water streaming in.

‘Kartharsis in Forbidden Zones’ is an exhibition of installations, paintings and sculptures that communicate Dimple’s ideas. It took her three and a half years to complete this series, she tells us. “The installations took time. Once I worked on the concept and made detailed sketches, I took help of carpenters and technicians who cut acrylic sheets, wooden and iron planks. I scouted junk shops and found a 100-year-old shop selling old bottles and sourced these for the installation. For another installation, I needed wheels of a cart and after much trial and error, I travelled to Baroda to find the kind of wheels I was looking for,” she says. 

Dimple’s paintings reflect her study of metals, their properties and their effect on our lives. While studying art in Glasgow, she researched on Jain philosophy and imagery. “I came across a book on metals, alchemy and equated what I read to the seven basic planets in astrology and the seven chakras described in yoga. I learnt about lead and it’s correlation to Saturn. I read that nail samples of criminals have an increased lead content in them. I also came to know that women have more traces of copper in them. It was fascinating as I dug deeper into metals and the way they affect us,” she explains. In one of her paintings, Dimple uses a chameleon to represent the changing state of mercury. A glass jar with a sample of the metal corresponding to her paintings and a page from her workbook, detailing her paintings and installation are there for the audience to correlate and introspect.

Dimple completes her work through a performance. She’s been supplementing her work with a performance since her college days in 2001. Her performance has no dialogues, doesn't fall strictly into the realms of theater though Dimple has studied theater. For an earlier exhibition titled Saffron Borders, she gave vent to people’s fear psychosis in the aftermath of the Godhra riots by encircling herself with a ring of fire and reacting to it. “This is the way I connect with people through a visual medium of Painting, Sculpture, Installation of expressing my thoughts by way of performance,” she says. 

What’s interesting is this artist did her bachelors in commerce before shifting gears to fine arts. “After B. Com I realized I was truly interested in arts and did a five-year bachelor course in visual arts, followed by masters in M.S University, Baroda and one year in Glasgow,” she smiles. As a parting shot, she admits installations don’t come cheap. “I am yet to sell any of  them. But I don’t think of returns when I work on an idea,” she says.

Sangeetha Devi Dundoo,

The Hindu, Hyderabad, March 8, 2013

"Kartharsis in Forbidden Zones" an exhibition of Paintings, Illustrations, Prints & Sculpture 

is on at Kalakriti Art Gallery, Hyderabad till March 13.

All are Welcome to the Live Art Lab 2012

Saffron Border - Live Performance at Kanoria Art Center

This performance addresses socio political situations in Gujarat, India, done in 2003 a year later communal massacre happened in Godhra. The communal violence took thousands of lives and many were left homeless. This massacre unfolded right in front of my eyes and I went through many horrific experiences and I tried to bring in my traumatic experience through this performance. The experience during the riots was terrifying. The city on fire, being surrounded by sensitive areas, the experience of  Gas cylinder bursting in neighboring lane from the burning houses, Milk man coming in middle of night, black commandos patrolling on streets. Hearing heart breaking stories of terror and violence’s where people were brutally killed by mobs, Women and children who were tortured and killed. Groups of mob came in hundreds and thousands killing and looting the people, houses and shops. Experiences of all this in my closed room with fear of that this can also happen to me anytime.

This experience of fear amplified with time as I could not see any news of the situation as there was no TV and with no sign of slowing down of riots in the city or in neighboring town and villages. I was only relieved from this situation and traumatic experience after the curfew was called off in four days. The city looked very different after that riots, there were hundreds of small houses in next lane belonging to one community, they were all burnt to ashes, people were killed, some of them escaped and fled, only vacant, broken and burnt houses left. It is very difficult to explain in word the loss and pain of the people during these riots. 

The performance was a combination of audio-video and live performance. The video shoot was done in Baroda; the video was combination of my performance, passion of saffron color, fear, lost dreams and pain, the fragmented and random images from city life this shots were amalgamated which were juxtaposed in layers. The video was supported by continues audio of railways tracks, which constantly reminds the "Burning Train" incident in Godhra massacre.

There was an additional audio along with video, voice given by Mumbai based Artist Bharati Kapadia, the audio narrates my journey and obsession with saffron color the color of passion and strength and how this color later on turned into color of fear and terror.  Basically this performance raised some of the basic questions of common man/women, their fears, insecurity, communal harmony, freedom and socio-political rights in the society. Questions like why history keeps on repeating and when there will be an end to such bloody violence.

The live performance was an act to bring out the traumatic experience of a person who has got stuck in fire, with no escape situation, the traumatic experience, the pain of burning live, and the cry for life. I tried to bring in all this experiences, with ritualistic performance of symbolically marking the border in saffron color and placing green house inside this boundary. The performance was basically to invoke the feeling of fear and terror inside the burning house and bring out the traumatic experience in front of audience. Then in the end of performance the green house was burnt. This performance work performed in many cities (Ahmadabad, Mumbai and in Bangalore) in front of varied audience which gave me opportunity to reach out community in large there by spreading my concerns.

Milk, Melancholy & Me - Live Performance [Audio & Video] at Venkatappa Art Gallery, Bangalore, 2011

The wise man is not surprised by death

he is always ready to leave.

La Fontaine

This melancholic state is so powerful

that, according to scientists and doctors,

it can attract demons to the body,

even to such an extent

that one can get into mental confusion or get visions.

-Agrippa

Milk, Melancholy & Me, the performance was based on my experience in Mumbai during 2003. The performance was supported by video which was shot in Mumbai at Marine Drive, Chopati Beach. The video in the performance was about my conversation with the sea and myself over the period of 6 months. The  conversation with the sea starts with overwhelming feeling of its greatness and vastness, later on the feeling narrows down to a point of nothingness of self in front of it. The video narrates ones journey in metro city where he/she is isolated in there own world with no trust and faith on anybody and fear of losing self identity and dreams. It talks about struggle of individual who come with big dreams and tries to fit into this big city, searching for his/her own space and owning it. It also talks of emotive aspect like coping up with loneliness and depression which is the byproduct of mega cities. In this video I have shot very few elements like sea, waves, buildings and reflection of lights on waves. The dancing night lights and play of it on the sea bring the melancholic flavor to the video. The constant sound of waves that symbolizes the heartbeat and existence of life, the play of light in the video represents dreams that afloat. In this whole video I have continuously showed only few elements to bring in the essence of time that I have spent.

The visual treatment was the conglomeration of audio, video & my performance. In audio  I was talking about my experience in Mumbai and my journey in the city, act of drawing on canvas (like mapping my journey) and painting my face with black color. During the performance I distributed black balloons to the audience on which I had written "I Am Here", both painting my face and black balloon symbolically representing the darkness within me. I used herbal resin incense [that is used in death rituals in general] since the element of smell was also important in my performance.

The core idea of my performance was to bring in the psychological state of mind of a person, who is in deep state of depression and in melancholic mood, who is in state of isolation and has lost all its positive power to fight back (symbolic to first stage of Alchemical process – Nigredo, this is very well explained by Carl Jung and interpreted Nigredo as the moment of maximum despair, that is a prerequisite to personal development. Nigredo is "The dark night of the soul". He says "Right at the beginning you meet the dragon, the Chthonic spirit, the devil or, as the alchemists called it "The Blackness", the Nigredo and this encounter produces suffering" It brings the ego into contact with what it fears).

The performance had both existential feeling and melancholic tone. This performance act is a healing process for me and to my audience. In audio there are two people talking one is doctor who hypnotizes his patient and the other voice is mine, who is the patient and takes the journey to the past. (This conversational format was sourced from psychotherapy session and psychoanalysis and expressed here as metaphor. A doctor usually lets the patient speak and listens without judgment, later offering gentle insights and suggestions. Sporadically there occur precious & magical ‘Frozen Moments’, named so by the Jungian therapist Beverly Zabirskie, when boundaries between the patient and the doctor dissolve and in their shared warmth immobilized random traumas of childhood melt away to enable mutual healing). I concluded my performance by the act of pouring milk on my face and this ritualistic act symbolized healing. I am thankful to Smitha Cariappa to give me an opportunity to perform.